I did something really scary!
I had been offered the opportunity to base jump off the Empire State building, I had said yes, and I had also survived!
The other day I was invited to a book club, as a guest, to tell the story of my spiritual journey thus far. The crew included eight other women of all ages (I was the youngest at 36), all on their own spiritual journeys as well. They were a spiritually-based book club, but I was aware that they were most interested in hearing about my work with mediumship and connecting to passed away loved ones. I was excited to share my ever-evolving journey, but beyond that wasn't sure where the night would lead.
My friend and I arrived to the warmest welcome at a beautiful house. As we all settled into the living room to begin, I looked up to see a large painting of the Sutro Baths of San Francisco. This exact painting had hung in my parent's family room for my entire childhood! At this point in my journey, I'm not surprised to experience these little synchronicities (because they are literally everywhere!) but they are still so fun to notice. And, you know it's a sign of good things to come!
So, we settled in and I told my story... how I got started on my spiritual path, where it has taken me, how I have learned to channel with different spirits, who I have channeled with, and all sorts of other details. As we reached the hour mark, I felt like I hadn't stopped talking for more than a second the entire time. Being that this was my first gig of this sort, I started to feel a little self-conscious. Had I gone on too long, was it the topic they were hoping for, why was no one asking questions, the list goes on. The good news was that no one had gotten up to pee or eat, but my mind was still leaning toward doubt. Maybe they were just bored to tears but too polite to cut me off.
As I was trying to read the room and wrapping it up, I began talking about how headaches have proven to be somewhat of a sign for me that someone wants to connect. As a side note: I used to get headaches multiple times a week. Since uncovering some of my spiritual gifts, they have almost completely subsided. More on that topic for another post.
So I was telling them about this and I should have seen it coming, but I didn't. Sure enough, "Soooo, do you feel any headache coming on now?!" I laughed at the absurdity of it, knowing that they were wanting to connect with loved ones right then and there. Which, mind you, I have never really done LIVE like that. The only other live reading I had done was with the same friend who brought me to the book club. But for her reading we knew well in advance that she wanted to connect with her Dad and she had no expectations that it would work. It certainly wasn't on the spot, with strangers I had only just met, in a room full of expectant spiritual-seekers. Yikes!
I said, "Well, I do kind of have that dull ache feeling..."
"Really?? What do you think, can we try it?"
Me: "Oh my god, really? I don't know you guys, I've never tried this before! I'm not sure I can do it."
"Oh that's ok, we don't care, we are open to whatever comes through."
Me: "Ahhh...Ok, let's give it a go. Can't hurt to try. But please know, it may not work!"
I was trying to muster the confidence, but in my head I was seriously questioning my sanity... "fuck me, I have no idea what I am doing?!?"
We took a pee break and I got myself together in the bathroom. While in there, I connected with Spirit and asked if this was something I should go forward with. "Yes, this is your next step, it's time to go for it!"
Daaaaaaaammmmit!! I was petrified.
Then I asked which spirit was ready to connect, so I could get a jump on the "live" part of the reading in the comfort of the closed door bathroom. I immediately heard "John's Mom" and "a baby boy". It made sense that she had come through first, given that it was her son's house, but I had no clue who the baby boy was.
I thought, "shit, now I've got to go out there and tell them."
As we all gathered back into the circle, I lit some palo santo to clear the energy and feel into my clarity as a channel. Then I told them who was there. John's wife Mary said immediately, "I knew she would come through!" And continued on to say that the Sutro Baths painting I had been staring at had belonged to John's Mom. Of course it had!
The baby boy turned out to be the spirit of a baby that John's Mom had aborted many many years prior, which she had always felt guilt over. She wanted to make sure we knew that guilt had played a role in making her sick during her lifetime, and that it was important to let go of the baggage we carry, forgive yourself, and heal your spirit.
We were all blown away- but, no one more than me. I had done it. I had connected with the spirit of a stranger's loved one, in front of an audience of women, with no prior knowledge of them or how to do it. I could not believe I had actually done it. Navigating between two worlds, one seen, one unseen, with no road map.
I proceeded on to connect with the loved ones of four other women that night. Some readings were choppy and awkward, with only a few things that resonated. But others were spot on and totally accurate, even to the point of tears. Yes, tears, because this is real real stuff. People's loved ones. Hence why this was one of the scariest things I have ever done.
I left that night feeling on top of the world, with good feeling energy surging through my veins. That kind of good feeling energy one might expect an Olympic gold medalist to feel. Yes, I realize that is dramatic, but it's how it felt. I had been offered the opportunity to base jump off the Empire State building, I had said yes, and I had also survived! My mind and ego so badly wanted to keep me small and prevent me from jumping. I could have easily said no. But WOW, what a feeling to trust in myself enough to say YES...and survive.
I haven't done any live readings since, but I am gearing up to try it again. If you are curious about connecting with a loved one in spirit, stay tuned for more offerings or reach out to me directly.
With love and gratitude,
Lindsay
