Leaving My Corporate Job
Grand Opening of the 39-unit mixed income apartment building in 2019.
On Jan 2, 2020 I told my second family, Summit Properties, that I have made the personal decision to leave the company I have dedicated myself to since 2011.
This time last year...
... I had recently received the honor of becoming a part-owner of the company, something I had wanted for many years.
... I had recently been bestowed the title of Chief Operating Officer, something I had wanted for many years.
... I was an integral part of the team that was constructing a 39-unit mixed income apartment building, one that I was and still am an owner of. Another thing I had dreamed about doing for many years.
... I had recently attended a Women's Leadership Conference at Babson and learned that I needed to drastically change the way I was operating if I wanted to empower, motivate, and keep good employees. This guidance was another thing I had been seeking for many years and empowered me to step into my true-self fully, a way of leading and living that felt soooo good to me.
... I had recently discovered that my personal time was so important to me that I was willing to become a morning person and get up at 5:30am just to have a cup of coffee in peace.
... I also began using that time to meditate, despite feeling that most mornings I was not achieving whatever it was that meditation was supposed to provide.
... I had finally achieved what I considered to be "financial freedom" where I rarely felt stressed for money and could essential buy whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.
I had, in every sense, achieved what I had been dreaming of for years. But despite "having it all", I began having a nagging feeling that this was not my future. Sometime last spring, the feeling of “busy” started feeling out of balance. I had spent the last 10 years doing and seeking to do as much as one could possibly fit in- professionally, socially, philanthropically, and at home. I didn’t feel out of balance in those 1st nine years, so why was I feeling this way now?
Leaving the family business that I had worked so hard to build up didn't seem like an option, especially financially. People were relying on me to keep this thing going- my family especially, but also 40+ employees. Seems silly that I would think that, but I did. And, what would I do? I would be bored. I knew that being home with the kids wouldn’t fulfill me. Would we have to cut way back on the fun stuff? All the fears, all the questions…
Over the summer I tried to say “no” more often and take more time for myself. I delegated a lot, tried to focus on the things that I “liked.” But, the feeling did not go away. In fact, it got stronger. Feeling like my heart was not completely in it. As that feeling continued to nag me, I decided to listen. I allowed myself to have conversations with my husband about what it would mean for us. One thing he and I have both always believed is that wealth comes and goes. We have talked for years about wanting to find a way to be happy no matter how much money is in our bank account. But personally, I have always felt fearful of getting attached to a lifestyle or wealth status and not being able to find peace and happiness without it. Achievement was such a part of me that making money proved my success, right?
After many discussions, I decided I could not ignore my gut feelings any longer. In mid-December I told my Mom and Dad. Then my long-time colleagues. They were all shocked. As was I when I first began thinking about it nearly a year ago. But, it felt right.
And, ever since telling everyone, the feeling of ‘this is right’ has gotten stronger and stronger. The last time I felt this way about a decision I made was when I said “yes” to Tom asking if I wanted to marry him. That feeling of ‘this is absolutely right’ is one of the best feelings you can have. Big life decisions are scary, but listening to your gut is the only way to achieve that.
So, right now I have no plan. We are looking for my replacement. I will transition out as soon as we can find someone. I will have more space for myself, for my kids, for finding the next thing that will inspire me to work hard. I am excited for the next chapter and am not afraid of not having enough money. My focus right now is to simply listen to myself, and make the next right decision, and then the next right decision, and then the next right decision. The future is exciting, but not to be worried about.
If you know of anyone with real estate development experience who might be interested in the position of running our company with Tom, please get in touch with me.
Thank you to all my friends and family for your support all along the way- your love has propelled me more than you know.
With love and gratitude,
Lindsay
Published: April 13, 2020
